averybergin - His Glory Revealed

I always find it easier to reflect on a season once it’s passed. We left Malaysia about a week ago, and I’ve realized more about my time there since coming to Guatemala. To be honest, Malaysia was a hard country for me. What started off as an exciting new place with so much opportunity to share the gospel to the lost, by the end I found myself feeling useless in ministry and questioning why the Lord had sent me there. Throughout my time there, the Lord filled with a grateful and joyful heart. There was and is so much to rejoice for, and joy does not emerge from our circumstances, but from the Lord’s heart. For whatever reason, I never let myself accept the fact that I was in the middle of a challenging season. Now that we’ve left, I’m realizing that it actually was difficult, and it’s okay to admit that. However, through my struggles, I am always reminded of the Lord’s steadfastness. His glory is revealed in our weakness.

During our time in Malaysia, my team was sent to two different ministries. In both of them, there were times when I felt as though I didn’t play much of a role. Some days, we had many more teachers than we did students at the Rohingya school. Others, all of our projects would be finished at the bakery and I found myself simply sitting around with my teammates. Honestly, I spent more time with my squad than with the people we were ministering to. And of course, there were opportunities for ministry whenever we traveled throughout the country, but it was hard for me to understand why the Lord would send me across the world just so that I could pour into my squad more than the people of Malaysia. I was so caught up in the fact that I wasn’t “doing” enough at ministry each day, and it led me into believing that God had no purpose for me being there.

Coming out of Malaysia, I’m realizing those beliefs about our work there are just purely false. The Lord led me into ministry with so many people in Malaysia! Maybe I didn’t see the fruits right away of our main structured ministries, but I was able to share the Word of God with the congregation of the church we were at, build strong connections with the Chinese pastors we met with, pray over families during the Christmas season, plant seeds in the lives of our Grab drivers (Grab is essentially Uber in Malaysia), and carry the Lord’s presence into a country desperate for truth.

The Lord brought me to the story of Mary and Martha. Two sisters in the Bible who welcomed Jesus into their home. When He came, Martha was busy serving while Mary sat at Jesus’ feet listening to Him. After a while, Martha became frustrated with Mary and asked Jesus to tell Mary to help her. Jesus responded by saying that Mary had chosen the better thing, to sit and be present with Him. In this story, Martha was so busy trying to do everything for Jesus, that she forgot what was more important. This story represents exactly where I was in Malaysia. Each day, I was so concerned with how much I was doing at ministry, that I didn’t notice how little time I was actually spending with the Father. Though I came on this trip for the Lord, I found myself putting God’s mission above God Himself.

Around halfway through our time in Malaysia, I took one of our adventure days to stay back at base and be with the Lord all day. I sat in the church pretty much all day praying, meditating on scripture, and simply sitting at the Lord’s feet. I set aside my plans for that day and all distractions to seek His heart. Every day after, I found myself overflowing with love for the Lord. All I wanted to do every moment of every day was open the Word and sit with the lover of my soul. I felt like I could hear His voice so clearly and had a renewed sense of awe for who He is.

Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” And this so accurately tells the testimony I’m sharing right now. The first half of Malaysia, I had felt so far from the Lord. Like Martha, I was giving my heart towards all the things I could do for the Lord and how much more I could achieve at ministry. When my life began to look more like Mary, that’s when I truly began to come into communion with God and realized that whether I was home in Michigan, or across the world serving in Malaysia, this was always the better thing.

To say the least, Malaysia wasn’t easy. I know I’ve talked about surrender so much in past blogs. And while I’m so grateful for how the Lord has refined me and my squad through the things we were called to surrender, being in the midst of it wasn’t exactly enjoyable. It’s not supposed to be! In Matthew 16:24, Jesus says to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” While I would like to say I do this with ease, that is far from the truth. Praise the Lord His mercies are new every morning! And let this be an encouragement to you, obedience to the Lord doesn’t mean life will feel smooth. Being on the race, the Lord has opened my eyes to more of my weakness, and through it revealed more of His glory. There’s days, weeks, and countries that are just purely hard. But through it all, He’s carrying me just as He is for you.

Thank you so much for reading and supporting my journey!! Here's a few photos to wrap up Malaysia!