Getting Back in the Water

As I’m writing this, I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Malaysia on Thanksgiving. That’s correct, we’ve left Swaziland and arrived in our second country just a few days ago. However, just because my location changed doesn’t mean my heart has. I’m still taking the time to reflect on how ministry in Swazi touched me and the ways I saw the Lord refining me through it. I apologize for this blog being quite overdue, but I want to take you back to a very special night back in Africa.

After spending 30 days in Swaziland, our squad took a weekend away in St. Lucia, South Africa to renew our visas. The majority of our time was spent getting caught up in the waves in the Indian Ocean, shopping in the beach town, cooking our own meals, and reconnecting as a whole squad (guys and girls together). On Saturday night, our squad worship leaders felt led to open up time for baptisms during worship. They had already planned for worship on the beach, and the idea was that anyone who felt led could get baptized in the ocean! However, just a few moments after we began worship that night, a storm rolled in. We continued to sing through the rain, which was beautiful. However, our leaders decided it wouldn’t be wise to get in the ocean for baptisms. Our squad ended up moving back to the pool of the hotel we were staying at to end the night.

As we all gathered around the pool, one of my squad leaders, Braden, shared a vision God had given him. He had seen us all with one hand in the water, praying over each baptism. We each knelt down and reached our hands in while the first two girls got baptized! A few minutes of silence went by and my friend, Mercy, came over to sit by me and asked if I was planning to get baptized. I was a little caught off guard by her question, as I hadn’t even considered it for myself, let alone prayed about it that weekend. I replied with exactly that, and sort of dismissed the idea. After no one else had entered the water, Braden prayed that the Holy Spirit would speak if there was anyone left to get baptized. While he was praying, my heart began to pound unusually fast. During this prayer, another girl hopped in, followed by a few others.

Before I continue, let me take you back to the beginning of the race. Getting rebaptized has been on my heart for quite some time now, and I was almost sure I would during a revival night at training camp. There was an opportunity for baptisms, and I went into it thinking that was exactly what I wanted to do. As you know now, that didn’t end up being the case. I remember sitting down with the Lord to worship while many of my squadmates were making the decision to enter the tub. I asked the Lord once more before going up, and He clearly told me to stay and sit with Him. So I did. I sat with the Lord for what felt like hours, waiting for something to happen or for Him to give me the okay to get baptized. Over time, the Lord began to reveal that my heart wasn’t in the right place to be getting in the water that night. There was comparison built up inside me, and I realized that I had felt the urge to get baptized that night simply because I wanted to be in the same place as the rest of my squad in our walks with the Lord. The Lord told me not to rush that night. He reminded me that each of us is on a different journey with Him, and what He cares about most is that we are obedient to what He’s calling us into individually.

So there I was, sitting at the edge of this pool, fully aware that the Holy Spirit was urging me to jump in, but also feeling completely unprepared to do so. “I haven’t even thought about it again since that night at training camp,” and “Wouldn’t it be too impulsive to do this right now?” were thoughts that wandered through my mind. I made a quick deal with myself. Jaydin, a girl on my team was brought to mind as someone else I’d remembered noticing at that revival night who also hadn’t gotten baptized. She had seemed like she was in a similar boat as me, considering it but unsure if it was truly a calling from the Lord. Though I don’t think I’d actually had a conversation with her about it, I told myself that I would only get in the pool if Jaydin did as well. Looking back, this was definitely me doing everything I could to push back against the tug of the Spirit. Not even 15 seconds after making this promise to myself, Braden called out her name in front of everyone, sharing that the Lord had just pointed her out to him. She was shook, and I want to say I was just as stunned as she was.

I’m sure you can guess what happened next, we both were rebaptized!! But it doesn’t end there! Soon after I stepped out of the water, one of my squamates, Mia, shared a dream she’d had of a night like this. She had vividly remembered me being one of the people to get baptized, and had planned not to share it with us unless I got baptized that night. Can we talk about the spiritual unity within our squad?! I was truly blown away by how the Lord spoke in undeniable ways through us.

A few nights later, I was on the phone with my dad sharing this story. He told me that after my first baptism when I was 8, I had said to him that I was sad I could never get baptized again. But the Lord had different plans! Praise God for redemption and for His voice which so intentionally pursues us.

Thank you all for being so patient with me as I am very slow to send out these blogs. And I can’t thank you enough for your prayers, I’ve truly seen them continued to be answered day by day! May the Lord bless you all, oh and happy Thanksgiving from Malaysia!!

Baptism Video